Emotional Well-Being is now a big focus in Australian schools and a topic that could have a lot said on. Addressing bullying, inclusivity, how to be a good friend and how to deal with all kinds of emotions. These are all great things and they are helping children to be more aware of others and experience empathy. I have seen a lot of schools have buddy benches, in the playground. This is not a place to be if you are playing with others. This is for a child with no-one to play with to sit on alone. Then another or other children see this person all alone and go up to them and ask if they would like to play with them. This works, I have seen it in action. Usually other students or staff see this and then reward the child or children that were including the lonely child, with an extrensic point reward system. I had to read a book on 'aware parenting'. I agreed with some actions they took but not all. This philosophy doesn't agree on rewards or punishments. They hold the child in its emotional state, allowing them to express any negative feelings going on inside, seeing these negative feelings as acknowlegment that something isn't right for this child either in the current moment or in the past that this child doesn't know how to process. The child may even be unaware of the trigger or issue. I understand this to a point. But I have seen it in action too with no boundaries or consequences and I wonder how these children will interact with others or see things from someone else's point of view or how they will handle not having everything go their way? Will they build resilience? Will they understand that sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to do what you do want to do? What about adult relationships? What issues will this cause them? I remember one of my children was really angry, they were about 4 1/2 years old. I locked them out of the house, so they could cool down. We had clear sliding glass doors, so I was able to keep an eye on them. They started to pull the washing off the washing line, in their fit of anger. I couldn't help myself. I opened the sliding door to say, "Thank you darling, I needed to bring the washing in". This inflamed their anger even more. Next they picked up a rock and circled around the family car, at this point, I rushed out to save the car and took this child kicking, biting and screaming for a walk in the bush. Let them go and they ran back home, still angry. I put them on my knee with my arms tightly wrapped around them, sat down in the rocking chair on the porch and proceeded to explain, while rocking them in the chair, "What you are feeling right now is anger and it's okay to feel anger but it's not okay to hurt anyone or damage anyone else's property. If you want to damage your own, that's okay, I will put it in the bin when you are done"! Then I told them I loved them. At this point they had finally calmed down. I personally agree with boundaries. To me love and boundaries go hand in hand. My children were very sensitive to boundaries, except my youngest, who would always do everything twice, just to make sure there really were boundaries. At school, as a teacher, I also like to set bounaries with rewards and consequences but even my consequences have a choice. For example: You can do that work now or you can do it during your lunch break, it's your choice! When my class have listened respectfully and completed set work, I like to reward them by finishing the session early to play a short game of their choice (class vote, majority rules). If the class hasn't earned this but individuals have I give them a choice of freetime with mindfull colouring in, free drawing or reading. As a teacher, I discovered 'restoritive practice'. I love this because you get to hear each person's point of view, without blame and judgement. When everyone's emotions have calmed down, you speak to everyone involved, so everyone can hear each other's side. As the teacher you ask questions like: "What were you feeling at the time"? "Why did you do that?" "How did that make you feel"? "What do you think you should have done'?" "If you had that time again, what would you do differently"? "What do you need to be able to move on from this"? It is amazing to watch them take responsibility for their actions and see how their actions affected someone else. Like I said at the start, 'emotional well-being' is a big topic with much to be said on it. Please share your experiences or questions below.

I have been thinking a lot about raising kids right. With the right amount of discipline, choice and creating room for their individuality to develop. I am lucky enough to have had my adult kids come back to me to say that I raised them right and that I am a great mother. It really warms the heart! You really know you've done a great job when they are there for you to help and support you when you need it the most. That is what is happening for me now with my fractured leg. My youngest son Beau and his partner Kat (luckily only live 30 minutes away), have been the ones to take me to every hospital appointment. They're regularly coming over to clean my house and picking up shopping and they won't take any money from us for their time and effort because they want to give back and be of use! They're the ones having my latest grandchild and I am so happy that they have decided to live on our property. They will be right next door. A win win situation where we'll be able to help and support each other out. Beau and Kat will be able to help Imants and I to look after the land. I am so excited to be able to have regular contact with them all. This has me thinking what are your thoughts on raising kids right? What stories do you have to share? Are there things that you would do differently? What advice would you give to those about to become new parents?